.. title: Predictions about tonight's game
.. slug: redsox
.. date: 2004-10-27 15:12:51
.. tags: content, life

<p>
  Given that it's a lunar eclipse and the Red Sox seem like they're going
  to sweep the series after decades of borking in the most dramatic possible
  way, I have made a few predictions about what will happen:
</p>
<ul>
  <li>A meteor (or ordinance from testing advanced government weapons)
      will hit the stadium causing injury to everyone involved thus
      post-poning the game indefinitely.
  <li>The Red Sox will win the game, then take off their human masks--turns
      out they're aliens trying to make the point that they can play baseball,
      too.  Though since they're illegal aliens, they will be sent to
      Guantanamo indefinitely with no rights and an alien mother ship will 
      come down and wipe out the human race.
  <li>The Earth will pass between the sun and the moon causing strange
      alien vibes to hit Ortiz' bionic arm.  It will proceed to kill everyone
      on the team a la <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091499/">Maximum
      Overdrive</a>.
</ul>
<p>
  However, I'll have to find out what happened tomorrow since the jackasses
  at RCN installed cable at the neighbor's place and foobar'd our cable
  and internet service.  Then decided they can't come back and fix it until
  Thursday.  Jackasses.
</p>