Predictions about tonight's game

, Will Kahn-Greene | share this (mastodon)
Note: This is an old post in a blog with a lot of posts over a long span of time. The world has changed, technologies have changed, and I've changed. It's likely this is out of date, the code doesn't work, the ideas haven't aged well, or the ideas were terrible to begin with. Let me know if you think this is something that needs updating.

Given that it's a lunar eclipse and the Red Sox seem like they're going to sweep the series after decades of borking in the most dramatic possible way, I have made a few predictions about what will happen:

  • A meteor (or ordinance from testing advanced government weapons) will hit the stadium causing injury to everyone involved thus post-poning the game indefinitely.

  • The Red Sox will win the game, then take off their human masks--turns out they're aliens trying to make the point that they can play baseball, too. Though since they're illegal aliens, they will be sent to Guantanamo indefinitely with no rights and an alien mother ship will come down and wipe out the human race.

  • The Earth will pass between the sun and the moon causing strange alien vibes to hit Ortiz' bionic arm. It will proceed to kill everyone on the team a la Maximum Overdrive.

However, I'll have to find out what happened tomorrow since the jackasses at RCN installed cable at the neighbor's place and foobar'd our cable and internet service. Then decided they can't come back and fix it until Thursday. Jackasses.

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